[It had started out a normal day for Ciel, in so much that she tended to keep to herself and go about her business. As much as she liked to curl up in the big chair and wait for Zero to make an appearance, there were days she would break from the routine, mostly due to still not quite being used to a real sleep schedule.
In any case, something seems... different around the house, though it's hard to place what. Axl's emotions usually pulsed or buzzed through it at times, and the air was slightly less heavy -- although Ciel knew some of that was due to her own ever-present guilty emotions. Pascal was rattling around in the basement as always and for now, Ciel didn't quite feel up to poking around there...
Still, eventually she makes her way back to the chair with her books, waiting for the more comforting sound of heavy reploid feet returning after a petrol. They hadn't scheduled anything to her knowledge, but she didn't always expect them to run something by her either.]
[Axl disappearing had been... the first major change. X had noticed it, hadn't voiced anything on the matter, assumed the others knew when it happened. It changed the feeling of the house, changed the energy in it (and before, X might have thought that was a silly way to think of it, even if it did... sometimes seem like the atmosphere changed depending on the morale and individuals present. Just less so than here). This new quiet, though... This new quiet was different. It was one he recognised.
And it was why he ventured out of the quiet of his room, drifting into the living room where Ciel sits in her chair with her books, and his expression is mild, even if the light seems to dim around him.
He's a quiet presence in the house, keeps to himself, interacts occasionally but mostly observes. He knows Ciel's routine because it's simple, and she's still learning to adjust.
And now he has to disrupt it.]
Ciel.
[Soft, non-intrusive. But she'll be the first person he tells.]
[It might have been some form of denial that kept her in her routine spot, as if by waiting the sensation of something being wrong would pass and the normalcy would return.
She looks up toward X's quiet approach and... it's hard not to miss the way the lights dim, all too well a sign that... something had changed and accepting that ... she wasn't certain if she was ready for that.]
... hello, X.
[Her voice is soft, but... hopeful, at least.] It's been quiet today... have they gone out on a mission?
[... And not said anything? They might not have wanted to disturb her, depending on the time. She was trying to rationalize why it all felt so wrong.]
[That hopefulness almost hurts--not only because he can see his own past hopes reflected (see where they weren't enough), but also because he has to be the one to lay it to rest.]
No.
[Not "in a manner of speaking", though he'd been tempted to phrase it like that. No, doing that would make this harder to say.]
They're gone, Ciel. I can't sense Zero, at all, and...
[Well, the absence is obvious.
It feels too concise to put it like that, too neat. Nothing in life is neat like that. X has lived and persisted long enough to know better than to even begin to believe that, but... The fact of the matter is that's about all there is to it: gone.]
[She repeats the word, a little numbly. It was something she hadn't wanted to believe; she had refused to let her thoughts get that far, but now, here it was, plainly.
Their home already had precedent for it. Pascal being gone before their arrival and her strange and subsequent return, and of course, dear Miss Roll...
But the others... it seemed almost unimaginable for Zero to be missing, when he was why they were all there. And Axl was so lively. So -- noisy, even though she had... no recollection of him at all. What sort of time was he returning to? And Zero ... it felt ... as though some sort of opportunity had been robbed. To learn more about him from his time, if there was anything she could give back to him in the future. Presuming that there was anything to remember ...
This world was so illogical, and yet it felt even more illogical to be in a world without Zero. Even though... she hadn't even seen him again for herself in her time. A year. And how long had it been here? Still... now wasn't the time to dwell on this sort of thing. Not when X...]
... you wouldn't... say that if you weren't certain...
[She feels at a loss. The hope that had shone in her words fades, replaced with... an indescribable sensation. She hadn't been prepared for this possibility, and she should have been.]
... I'm sorry, X ... [Putting the Cyber-elf's feelings in front of her own, of course. It seemed only the right thing to do.]
[It's... touching she'd put him first, but X shakes his head.]
Ciel... I'm not the only one distressed by it.
[His chuckle's short, aborted and dry. He's unfortunately used to Zero vanishing, in a way, but that doesn't make it easy to accept. Still, it's a fact: Zero's gone, and X can manage. He's learned, in the past, how to. But Ciel? Ciel is young, she's not used to this--not yet, anyway, and he knows just from how she reacts to the news, how she pushes herself aside, that she feels similarly to him. The problem is that she doesn't have any of that preparation.
But blocking herself out doesn't change the reality.]
It's alright to be... out of sorts.
[He's not going to make her pull herself up. Not unless she decides she's flooding the house with dejected bubbles, anyway.]
[It was a little eerie sometimes, how similar their methods were. Like pushing a large, slow rolling ball back and forth of their silent struggles, yet without really wanting to reveal how they truly felt about it. And in this case, the metaphorical ball was bright red, with stripes of gold, blue and white...
It had always been that way between them since their arrival.
What had she learned in that time...? Since meeting him again, and that distance... even if it all came back to "Zero is Zero", he had never truly known her... but it seemed wrong, to dwell on that sort of thing.]
... I should have kept the possibility in my thoughts... There was ... no warning in this.
[At least the other time, he had dropped out of all communication of his own volition, and it had been a year. Being here with these timelines being out of whack just threw... everything out of whack. The sense of time, the responsibility...]
But that's how it usually is, here, isn't it? [Others, gone without a trace, but it hadn't hit like this.]
We'll just have to keep on...
[Brave words. She's not sure that she's ready to allow herself to be... out of sorts. She always finds a way to pull out of it, even with the worst she's faced at home. That wasn't the issue. She didn't really know what he was returning to, only that she would see him later, but ... that didn't take away that lingering ache, either. He had been that constant... she sets her books aside, absently pulling her knees toward her in that over-sized chair.]
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chiming
[feb 15th]
Date: 2017-02-21 11:05 pm (UTC)From:In any case, something seems... different around the house, though it's hard to place what. Axl's emotions usually pulsed or buzzed through it at times, and the air was slightly less heavy -- although Ciel knew some of that was due to her own ever-present guilty emotions. Pascal was rattling around in the basement as always and for now, Ciel didn't quite feel up to poking around there...
Still, eventually she makes her way back to the chair with her books, waiting for the more comforting sound of heavy reploid feet returning after a petrol. They hadn't scheduled anything to her knowledge, but she didn't always expect them to run something by her either.]
Re: [feb 15th]
Date: 2017-03-01 03:24 am (UTC)From:And it was why he ventured out of the quiet of his room, drifting into the living room where Ciel sits in her chair with her books, and his expression is mild, even if the light seems to dim around him.
He's a quiet presence in the house, keeps to himself, interacts occasionally but mostly observes. He knows Ciel's routine because it's simple, and she's still learning to adjust.
And now he has to disrupt it.]
Ciel.
[Soft, non-intrusive. But she'll be the first person he tells.]
no subject
Date: 2017-03-01 03:23 pm (UTC)From:She looks up toward X's quiet approach and... it's hard not to miss the way the lights dim, all too well a sign that... something had changed and accepting that ... she wasn't certain if she was ready for that.]
... hello, X.
[Her voice is soft, but... hopeful, at least.] It's been quiet today... have they gone out on a mission?
[... And not said anything? They might not have wanted to disturb her, depending on the time. She was trying to rationalize why it all felt so wrong.]
no subject
Date: 2017-03-23 06:00 am (UTC)From:No.
[Not "in a manner of speaking", though he'd been tempted to phrase it like that. No, doing that would make this harder to say.]
They're gone, Ciel. I can't sense Zero, at all, and...
[Well, the absence is obvious.
It feels too concise to put it like that, too neat. Nothing in life is neat like that. X has lived and persisted long enough to know better than to even begin to believe that, but... The fact of the matter is that's about all there is to it: gone.]
no subject
Date: 2017-03-24 11:08 pm (UTC)From:[She repeats the word, a little numbly. It was something she hadn't wanted to believe; she had refused to let her thoughts get that far, but now, here it was, plainly.
Their home already had precedent for it. Pascal being gone before their arrival and her strange and subsequent return, and of course, dear Miss Roll...
But the others... it seemed almost unimaginable for Zero to be missing, when he was why they were all there. And Axl was so lively. So -- noisy, even though she had... no recollection of him at all. What sort of time was he returning to? And Zero ... it felt ... as though some sort of opportunity had been robbed. To learn more about him from his time, if there was anything she could give back to him in the future. Presuming that there was anything to remember ...
This world was so illogical, and yet it felt even more illogical to be in a world without Zero. Even though... she hadn't even seen him again for herself in her time. A year. And how long had it been here? Still... now wasn't the time to dwell on this sort of thing. Not when X...]
... you wouldn't... say that if you weren't certain...
[She feels at a loss. The hope that had shone in her words fades, replaced with... an indescribable sensation. She hadn't been prepared for this possibility, and she should have been.]
... I'm sorry, X ... [Putting the Cyber-elf's feelings in front of her own, of course. It seemed only the right thing to do.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-12 08:47 am (UTC)From:Ciel... I'm not the only one distressed by it.
[His chuckle's short, aborted and dry. He's unfortunately used to Zero vanishing, in a way, but that doesn't make it easy to accept. Still, it's a fact: Zero's gone, and X can manage. He's learned, in the past, how to. But Ciel? Ciel is young, she's not used to this--not yet, anyway, and he knows just from how she reacts to the news, how she pushes herself aside, that she feels similarly to him. The problem is that she doesn't have any of that preparation.
But blocking herself out doesn't change the reality.]
It's alright to be... out of sorts.
[He's not going to make her pull herself up. Not unless she decides she's flooding the house with dejected bubbles, anyway.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-13 03:52 am (UTC)From:It had always been that way between them since their arrival.
What had she learned in that time...? Since meeting him again, and that distance... even if it all came back to "Zero is Zero", he had never truly known her... but it seemed wrong, to dwell on that sort of thing.]
... I should have kept the possibility in my thoughts... There was ... no warning in this.
[At least the other time, he had dropped out of all communication of his own volition, and it had been a year. Being here with these timelines being out of whack just threw... everything out of whack. The sense of time, the responsibility...]
But that's how it usually is, here, isn't it? [Others, gone without a trace, but it hadn't hit like this.]
We'll just have to keep on...
[Brave words. She's not sure that she's ready to allow herself to be... out of sorts. She always finds a way to pull out of it, even with the worst she's faced at home. That wasn't the issue. She didn't really know what he was returning to, only that she would see him later, but ... that didn't take away that lingering ache, either. He had been that constant... she sets her books aside, absently pulling her knees toward her in that over-sized chair.]